


Fanstuck! Well WHY the FUCK NOT!!?

by animefan1394, Lunyhime95



Series: Fanstuck! [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Jordan Facepalms, Jordan can do the Hearty thing, Luny does the voidy thing, Other, Rescratch!, Void Powers, Void Session, do the voidy thing, fanstuck - Freeform, so many things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-30
Updated: 2015-10-30
Packaged: 2018-04-28 16:16:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5097071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/animefan1394/pseuds/animefan1394, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunyhime95/pseuds/Lunyhime95
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>By some cursed deign of the universe, you've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?</p>
<p>Or rather....</p>
<p>In which two young adult humans do a fairly dumb thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fanstuck! Well WHY the FUCK NOT!!?

**Author's Note:**

> This was born out of sheer obsession, and the ravings of an otaku weeaboo, because I am *just* now getting into the Homestuck fandom, gogdamn.....

LUNY: BE THE GIRL WHO CAN'T STOP LAUGHING==>

Right now, you are LUNARI TELLOS, You are currently in the midst of cackling in front of your ELECTRONIC DISTRACTION, namely your newly purchased laptop while you have two CELLULAR COMMUNICATION DEVICES in your pocket, both having a separate purpose, a popular HANDHELD ENTERTAINMENT APPARATUS, and also currently blaring behind you as background noise is your TV AND LARGER ENTERTAINMENT APPARATUS.

You are laughing because, once again, you've successfully managed to SCARE THE FUCK out of one of your favorite NET-FRIENDS and usual PARTNER-IN-CRIME. You two are practically in CAHOOTS.

Currently, you and your chum are RPing (not really) over Skype, making random jokes, puns, and references to fandoms you both have in common. More specifically, tonight has been more or less about a particular webcomic of which you both are excited of it's new and recent updates. You're practically having FANGASMS GALORE.

You are also having fun TROLLING her through a variety of items that most people would find COMPLETELY and UTTERLY DISTURBING.

"Pesterlog"

\- lunaticTelestial [LT] began hazing chibiCinnamonroll [CC] -

LT: AAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!

LT: omgog, Jocchan, are you okay?

CC: Nooooooo...

CC: Y u do this to me, Lu-chan?

CC: That was horrible, i can't even look at pokemon anymore, why was that even a thing!?

LT: Because things are things, therefore they are things.

CC: Oh my gog, Luny pls, stahp...

LT: waitwaitwaaaaait...one more

CC: oh god no...

LT: yiiiissssss

LT: Allow me a few moments to allocate another *suitable* item of Creepypasta so that I may further addle your poor mental stability

CC: QAQ

CC: Quit it with the posh scare tactics

LT: *cackles like a schoolgirl antagonist wannabe*

CC: XD. jfc, you need to stop.

Haha...god, you LOVE your friend, because it's like she is literally an amazing CINNAMON ROLL. Kinda also why you like to tease her so much. You love her like a sibling you've never met face-to-face despite having sent each other pictures of cosplays you were respectively doing.

Sure, you're a complete jerk and asshole to her, but you know where the line is, and you're still friends so far, so that has to count for something. You feel all kinds of warm and teary when you think about how horrible you are and despite that, there is at least one person who will still talk to you. Good Jordan. Best friend.

While you're searching the interwebs for suitable mind-fuck material, why don't we do something more productive, such as check on mentioned friend.

LUNY: BE THE OTHER GIRL==>

You are now the other girl. Uhh...wait, no, you are JORDAN KAMITS.

You, my friend, are close to TEARS due to the fact that your net-friend has taken up the hobby of making you feel as AS UNCOMFORTABLE AS POSSIBLE, whether it be through CREEPYPASTA, fairly SUGGESTIVE jokes, or even going as far as to RP as characters you don't have any particular taste for. But you know its all in good fun, because she doesn't take it too far, and if she does, she makes it up through hilarious shit she finds viable to share with you through Tumblr, and vice versa. Actually, you usually find all the cool FANART and funny posts on Tumblr and send them to her. Sometimes, you even find something so filled with FEELS that you show her, and you take a small amount of pride in knowing that this is all it takes to reduce her to tears. VENGEANCE from the heart~!

No, but seriously, you honestly CANNOT even LOOK at POKEMON anymore. That last one was just...COMPLETELY and UTTERLY DISTURBING. You don't even want to sleep now, else you'll be dreaming of of PIXELATED HORRORTERRORS.

Nevermind that, because you both were waiting online for a reason. A new update just rolled in, and you click on it quite elated as it has just made your night that much better.

You send a quick message to your friend, and settle in for a read.

Meanwhile...

JORDAN: GO BACK TO BEING THE SLIGHTLY OFF-KILTER GIRL==>

You are now yourself again.

Why don't we take the time for a little introduction?

Physically, you have the appearance of a young lady. Well, you actually are a young lady. You are VERTICALLY CHALLENGED and fairly on the chubby side, though you prefer the terms 'PHAT' and 'FUN-SIZED'. You could consider yourself pretty, you guess. Any kind of vanity you exhibit is more in humor than anything else. You have a ridiculous amount of crazy-wild, unmanageable fluffy black hair that reaches just past your hips, and you secretly pride yourself for not needing a wig for cosplay. While your eyes are naturally hazel, you constantly wear a pair of contacts that are such a very vivid purple that your eyes take what you believe to be the most exotic shade of indigo-violet, and you feel awesome.

You have got WAY TOO MANY interests to adequately list here, so you will try to be as brief as possible. You've developed a joy for ARTING, THE MOON, and you have a particular interest for BROADWAY MUSICALS AND THEATRICAL ENTERTAINMENTS.

You are also an OTAKU. There is no shame in you admitting such a thing, and its how you best identify yourself. As the title implies, you are a rather avid fan of anything ANIME and MANGA, you can even fluently speak Japanese, and like the WEEABOO TRASH that you are, you tend to mix it into your everyday speech, but that isn't your limit. Your interests expand into even further territory, reaching as far as the vast void of space (ie. Star Wars, Star Trek, Marvel...), and even falling down through the recesses of time (ie. LoTR, WoW, D&D...). If it gets to you, then fuck yeah you're in that fandom. And you dabble a bit into GAMING. Okay, you dabble a lotta bit into gaming. And then there's COSPLAY to consider. In fact, you very much like to CLOSET-COSPLAY. Overall, you'd like to consider yourself A WELL-ROUNDED GEEK.

You use a KARAOKE SYLLADEX set to SHUFFLE, and your strife portfolio contains two specibus decks, of which will be explained later. Your black tank-top bears the sigil of a silver CRESCENT MOON logo on the front.

You are...a bit OFF? Or a lotta off, maybe? Well, okay, sure, yeah...you are HIGHLY QUIRKY, but your personality tends to VACILLATE, which CONFUSES most people, and it PROBABLY isn't good? You are kind of a literal, walking contradictory paradox of a person.

There is a slight possibility of you being COMPLETELY and TOTALLY MENTALLY UNSTABLE, and also maybe just a bit bipolar...or autistic, just a bit. Like not even official or anything, just what you've been able to SELF-DIAGNOSE. The things that go through your LABYRINTH of a thought process also tends to FLUCTUATE and SHIFT CONSTANTLY. So, you're a bit of an amoral problem child. But really, who gives a damn?  
IN CASE YOU WERE UNCLEAR, YOU ARE A HUGE FUCKING DORK.

...It's hard. It's hard being a kid, and growing up, and nobody understands.

But ooh, lookit! Your friend sent you a link~!

It instantly forces a new tab open with the most recent update of a fairly popular webcomic, and you halt your search for horrorterrors in order to indulge yourself.

LUNY: BE THE GIRL WHO JUST FINISHED READING A NEW CHAPTER OF A WEBCOMIC==>

You are once again Jordan. Congratulations.

How about we introduce you as well?

You are a young lady of decent height, and you are possibly considering that you might be on the pleasantly plump side of the scales. You are fairly attractive, you think. While your dark curls are also quite voluminous, it isn't as long as your friend's, though you think you're okay with that, as long hair is quite a lot of trouble. Your eyes are a lovely, earthy chocolate.  
Your interests happen to be DRAGONS, ANGST, AND DEEP, THRILLING ROMANTICAL PLOTS.  
You are also quite into ANIME and MANGA, and a bunch of other things as well. You frequently visit the depths of Tumblr to view various works and quotes and other COMPLETELY RANDOM SHIT out of sheer amusement. You also like to game. In fact, there are points of time where you and Luny will call out each other using the term 'SMASH', which while it is meant to be a CHALLENGE, it somehow-sometimes turns into an INNUENDO, though that's usually Luny's fault.

Sometimes, you scream in your head,'Goddamit Luny...'

You are a little SQUEAMISH, but not entirely. Somehow, Luny believes that you are entitled to the titles of being a PRECIOUS BABY ANGEL, and an ABSOLUTE CINNAMON ROLL. You don't know if she's joking or not, but it makes you glad that she thinks of you that way.

You use a PLUSHIE STORAGE SYLLADEX, and you have yet to equip a strife modus. Your T-shirt depicts a small pink flower.

You've just returned from a Con recently, so a lot of your COSPLAY PARAPHERNALIA is literally still all over your floor, and you've got pictures to send and stories to tell and things to FANGIRL over.

And then you hear a noise outside your window, which is thankfully closed, some kind of scritch-scratch shuffle along the outside wall, and you have gone from squeamish to REALLY FUCKING SCARED RIGHT NOW HOLY SHIT.

You nervously equip your sceptrekind (which is actually a baseball bat still decorated with trills of ribbon that have yet to be removed.)

"Pesterlog"

\- chibiCinnamonroll [CC] began freaking out to lunaticTelestial [LT] -

CC: omg

CC: Luny, i just heard something outside and i am legitly scared right now

CC: TTATT

LT: OMGOG

LT: ARE YOU OKAY

LT: fucking capslock

LT: are you okay

LT: please don't die

LT: i will mentally send a culling fork at whatever it is that's over there

LT: omf

LT: i just heard a noise too

LT: not even kidding

LT: freaking out over cosmic-psycho bullshit

CC: lol karma

LT: omfgog

LT: don't even

LT: XD don't even talk to me

CC: Jfc, this so bad, we shouldn't even be laughing about this

About a couple hours from now, future-you will think back on this moment and curse how right you were.

LT: wait...brb...

Because everything is about to become much, much worse, very soon, and very fast.

JORDAN: BE THE ONE WHO IS AFK==>

Once more, you are Luny, and you are not scared. You don't get scared. Startled and surprised, sure, but never actual FEAR( or whatever you need to tell yourself). You are however currently frozen in place due to the unavoidable fact that there is a shadow standing over your window, a shadow you pray piously that you're imagining, because your room is in a basement, so you can't see much of anything outside. As quietly as you can manage, you shut off the TV.

You feel your hair FLOOFING UP, and while at any other day you would marvel over it, NOW IS REALLY NOT THE TIME.

You prepare for STRIFE.

As stated before, you have two different strife modi within your portfolio. You reach for the more functional one, rather than your favorite specibi, pulling a heavy bokken from the Caliberkind folder.

Your eyes are wide and flashing, your breathing slow and soundless, and your whole body tensed as if you could attack with your whole being.

And you wait.

.

.

.

Aaaaaaaand eventually get tired of waiting, so you SOFT-STEP closer to the window to peek at...ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY NOTHING.

\- lunaticTelestial [LT] began complaining tochibiCinnamonroll [CC] -

LT: GOG FUCKING DAMMIT BASEMENT NOISES

CC: XD omf

CC: stupid house noises lol

LT: shet, imma find something creepy real quick

LT: and then send it to you out of mere spite in a jackass way to make myself feel better

CC: /:T...

CC: k, not sure that makes me feel better or anything, but you do that

CC: i'll just...leave this here where you can see it

And she leaves a link in the window, a link that you so stupidly, blindly click on.

It has all the feels. All of them.

You are the emotional faucet. It is you.

LT: ;-;

LT: why

LT: just why

LUNY: BE JORDAN WHO HAS STOPPED FREAKING OUT==>

YOU ARE NO- *ahem* Excuse me, you are now Jordan, once again. And you giggle at the emotional metaphorical blow you've just dealt. Despite your own wave of tears, there is a fair amount of pride.

JORDAN: STOP BEING JORDAN==>

Okay, jeez! We'll stop being Jordan when you stop playing switcheroo, your royal fucking highness, who the fuck up and made you monarch!? What do you think this is, MSPA!?

...So lets be Lunari for a bit.

After sobbing like a small child whose ice cream has melted off the cone, you come across a program file, which reads: αβ.SBURB/SGRUB.Ω.exe. The thought that comes to mind is 'Wtf, some dork really up and made an sburb game? lolz, this dumbass. imma still open it, tho, imma still open...'

It installs itself into your device, flashing through multiple loading windows too quick for you to follow, before giving you the last 'Program has been successfully installed.' window with an 'Ok'. You click-

And everything powers off.

.

.

.

Then about two or three minutes later, it all comes back on, your computer reboots, and you proceed to smash your face into the wall because 'What the hell is with the ominous waiting and pauses!?' or something like that.

You log in, and everything is like before you had your temporary blackout, with the addition of of an empty window that won't let you close out no matter how many times you remove it from task manager. Eventually you give in and just minimize it, which the fucking thing lets you do, stupid-ass program...

Briefly, you let Jordan know that you've got something, you just need to check it out first. You open the game.

Immediately, the screen jumps into a mass of pixelated technicolor barf, and your annoyance is beginning to rise. The image soon clears and settles enough for you to make out the shitty graphics.

Not even ten seconds into the opening animation, you facepalm as you realize that it's a fucking hacked up version of motherfucking Earthbound, like someone took the whole program of the game's coded existence and ran it through a Vinesauce brand meat grinder, shaped it all up into digital meatloaf, and shoved it as far as possible into the nook of the internet, purely for the sake of fucking with some poor fool, which happens to be you at the moment.

You are the fool. It is you.

You perform the great Facepalm x2 Combo.

LUNY: BE JORDAN AGAIN==>

Y'know...eventually you're going to have to find a different way to transition, I mean, seriously, you cannot keep doing this, but anyway...

While you were waiting, you've taken the time to set up a private group chat appropriately named 'F48U70U5 73CHN1C070R P4R7Y70WN', in rainbow text and registering your respective handles. Gog, you're good.

Partytowns aside, it's been a good fifteen minutes since you last received any messages, and you take this opportunity to test out your chat room.

.

.

F48U70U5 73CHN1C070R P4R7Y70WN

\- chibiCinnamonroll [CC] began questioning lunaticTelestial [LT] -

\- lunaticTelestial [LT] is idle! -

CC: Lu-chan?

CC: what didja find~?

\- lunaticTelestial [LT] is no longer idle! -

LT: JOCCHAN

LT: you need to see this

LT: im freaking out again

LT: here, hold on...

LT: αβ.SBURB/SGRUB.Ω.exe

LT: run this and then reboot your computer

CC: omg

CC: what why?

LT: just do it

LT: do it and you're cool

LT: do it for the vine

LT: but seriously, run it, you are going to shit bricks

CC: urghhh, fiiiiiiiine

\- chibiCinnamonroll [CC] is now idle! -

You kind of do a double-take at the file she sends you, the link reading 'αβ.SBURB/SGRUB.Ω.exe'.

What.

The.

Actual.

Hell!?

You remove your glasses to wipe at your eyes, clean the lense, slide them back onto your ganderbulbs and attempt to make sense of the file.

Are you kidding, what sense!? It's all a mess of coded jumble!

You are hesitant on running it, but you install anyway.

As it finishes, you proceed to FREAK-THE -FUCK-OUT because everything has shut down.

JORDAN: SWITCHEROO TIME==>

Well, you've certainly been busy. Or at least, the Future You ten minutes from now.

As it turns out, it wasn't an extra-hacked version of Earthbound.

It seems that Future You has ended up running multiple downloads, something you wouldn't normally advise for obvious reasons, but hey, you're about to end the universe so you REALLY don't give a fuck anymore~!

As you are downloading, a viewport finally opens in that blank window you've had on your screen, and you make some kind of noise in shock as the video feed clears up.

You are staring at Jordan's room, and you know this is Jordan's room, because there's a friggin' Soul EaterTM scroll on the wall, and a travel-case is left open on the bed, a wig sitting precariously on the corner of a dresser. And she just got back from a Con.

You feel and act upon the intense urge to say out loud, "Holy shit-nuggets."

LUNY: BE YOU TEN MINUTES FROM NOW==>

And shit has officially hit the whirling device.

Your download shenanigans are complete, and you're about to kinda literally rock your friend's world. No, seriously, her room freakin' shakes every time you click on the viewport window.

LUNY: FOR THE SAKE OF TRANSITION, BE JORDAN==>

Now that you've had your initial freak-out, you believe it to be the time to CALM DOWN, JUST CALM THE FUCK DOWN.

It seems your computer, as well as everything else, rebooted and turned back on completely fine, with the exception of a random empty window that won't close, and a game screen that looks like...is that fucking Earthbound?

JORDAN: BE LUNARI APPROXIMATELY FORTY-FOUR MINUTES AHEAD OF TEN MINUTES LUNARI==>

You, as Future-Future You, are about to do something very risky, possibly dangerous, and probably very stupid.

To your very confused and ultimate surprise, you instead fall asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> omfgog, jocchan what have i done!!?


End file.
